


You're So Oblivious (to words I've never said)

by dancingelf88



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Unrequited/Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:26:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingelf88/pseuds/dancingelf88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott and Stiles are in love. If only they would just tell each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TruebornAlpha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TruebornAlpha/gifts).



> This is a birthday fic for the amazing Rune. I hope you enjoy some pining boys. Title taken from Lauren Aquilina's "Ugly Truth"

Stiles pauses as he spots the neon green ribbon tied around the doorknob and his shoulder slump. _Great_ , he thinks. Before he pivots and starts walking away the door swings open.

“Hey man.” The man on the other side of the door says to him.

“Yo.” Stiles replies. He has to look up slightly at him. His dark brown skin is still glistening with a sheen of sweat and a ridiculous bright smile is plastered on his face, “hope you left him in good condition.”

He chuckles and shrugs, “See ya dude.”

Stiles undoes the ribbon on the doorknob and takes the time to tamp down on his emotions: _calm your heartbeat, settle your stomach, relax_.

It’s hard to do when he walks in and sees Scott: boxers on (thank God), but still shirtless with bite marks on his chest and neck, his lips swollen red, and hair standing up everywhere. He looks right out of a porn and Stiles can’t help the groan that escapes his mouth.

“I thought you guys were supposed to be studying.” He says and throws his backpack on the ground before throwing himself on his bed.

“We did.” Scott smiles at him.

“Is that what you’re calling it?”

“Shut up.” Scott laughs at him.

Stiles rolls his eyes, “Whatever dude. Go wash eau de Ronan off so we can meet Kira.”

He watches Scott hop off the bed and grab his towel and bag of toiletries from his armoire, “His name is Rome, Stiles.” He says before he slips on his shower shoes and walks out of their dorm room.

_Rome: short for Roman_ , pre-med Junior, from San Diego. 6’5” with dark brown skin and closely shorn hair and light brown eyes. He makes Scott laugh a lot. He showed Scott the best running route in the morning. He helps him with his Biology homework because he’s some kind of genius.

Of course he knows his name. He knows the name of all of Scott’s little fuck buddies. There was also Patrice: the senior exchange student from Ireland whose accent Scott was in love with. Logan, the sophomore in Scott’s Philosophy class who was also on the lacrosse team with him, Sophia who had bonded with his best friend because their families were from the same town in Mexico and Scott loved speaking Spanish with her and Pete and Veronica and Noah and…

Stiles runs his hands through his hair in exasperation because it’s not fair. It’s not fair that he’s known Scott McCall since he was an asthmatic nobody who cried that first time they met and Stiles peed on his sandcastle. He knows that Scott’s favorite Disney movie is The Lion King and he can go line-for-line by himself. He knows that Scott needed reading glasses until the bite fixed that. He was there for birthdays and the first time Scott’s tooth fell out. It was him Scott ran to when his parents would fight. When his Dad left for good (Stiles is the one that hid Scott in their special spot in the woods when Rafael McCall got granted full custody. Stiles is the first person Scott ran to when Rafael had to give up that custody); when he got _The Bite_ and everything that happened afterwards. He knows what it looks like when Scott is drenched in gasoline with a flare in one hand ready to end it all.

So it’s not fair. It’s not fair that _they_ (Rome and Patrice and Sophia and Pete and…) get to have this part of his best friend that he’s never had. This part that he never will have. This part that he’s been fantasizing about since their senior year of high school after he and Malia parted ways.

He’s jolted out of his misery by _Fall Out Boy_. Alex.

“Hey babe.” Stiles says cheerily (guiltily) to the woman on the other line, “Don’t tell me you’re already ready because Scott’s still in the shower.”

“I kind of can’t make it. I have this paper--”

“The one you’ve been procrastinating?” he interrupts.

“Can it…and yes. I’m actually making progress so I’m gonna order in or grab food later.”

“Ok well good luck.” Stiles tries for encouraging.

“Thanks. Bye.”

When she hangs up Stiles feels that familiar pang of guilt he gets after he’s done wallowing about his situation with Scott and his actual girlfriend comes to mind. He likes Alex. A Lot. She's almost Lydia-level smart, she gets his jokes and makes some that have him on the floor laughing, she's probably the only person who knows more about Batman than he does. She's an art major and she's perfect. When he's with her there are no thoughts of what Scott's lips would feel like on his or that burning hot jealousy in his belly when he sees his best friend with yet another person. They've been going strong for 5 months...the longest relationship he's had since Malia.

He should be happy. He _is_ happy. Alex is going to be the one that finally breaks him of this torch he's been carrying for his best friend (Unlike Linda did. Or Perrie. Carter. Josie.)  

The man in question decides to walk in the room at that very moment with his chest wet and bare. Stiles looks away so quickly he gives himself whiplash and spends the twenty minutes it takes Scott to get dressed trying desperately not to ogle (it doesn't work).

"Ok ready." Scott announces, "We swinging by Kira’s dorm first or Alex's?"

"Alex isn't coming. She's apparently in 'the zone.'" Stiles supplies with air quotes and everything.

"We should get her something to go anyway. Sometimes she forgets to eat." Scott suggests because of course he does.

"Hey she's my girlfriend, McCall." Stiles jokes and shoves Scott's shoulder.

They grab their ID cards and keys and head out of the door. The first stop is Kira's dorm across the quad. The kitsune is already waiting for them, sitting on one of the benches outside texting. From the smile on her face, Stiles guesses it's Malia she's talking to.

"How's Malia?" he sings by way of greeting.

Kira shows them the picture on her phone: Malia's signature snarl, "She was just about to leave when someone came in for a last minute oil-change."

Malia had apparently inherited the love of cars that seemed to have passed over Derek. After high school the werecoyote had attended BHCC and was now working at the local auto shop. She loved it (except apparently when customers interfered with her going home time).

The next stop on their trip was to pick up Liam from the library because even though the kid was a freshman in college now Scott still treated him like the fourteen year old he was when he was first bitten. Liam had gained popularity amongst his peers for being such good friends with not one-, but two juniors (Stiles still didn't consider them friends, really). Both of whom responsible for pulling the school's lacrosse team out of the abyss.

Dinner goes normally. They find a table to fit all of them and the mountains of plates they’ve all collected and spend the next hour or so catching up on the week. Liam delights them with how his whole dorm had to stand outside for an hour because some drunk freshman accidentally set off the alarm during a game of ultimate drunk Frisbee. Liam leaves first to meet up with friends and when Stiles comes back to the table from getting a turkey wrap and fries for Alex he finds only Kira there. Scott is a few tables away talking (flirting. He’s flirting) with some guy from the lacrosse team. Stiles doesn’t recognize him from the file he’s created in his head of _Scott’s Booty Calls_. He does; however, recognize when the alpha is in full flirt mode so when he jogs over to sheepishly tell them that he won’t be joining them back at Kira’s for a movie, it’s no surprise.

“One day you’re going to have to tell him.” Kira says while debating between Red Velvet ice cream and Cookie dough at the school’s convenience store (she chooses both).

“Were we having a conversation I completely zoned out on?” Stiles asks as they walk to the counter.

She gives him a patient look after paying for her purchase.

“He doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“You don’t know that.” She argues back.

“He doesn’t want a relationship.”

“He could if the right person— by which I mean you, specifically asked him.”

“It could ruin everything.”

“Nothing could ruin you guys. I mean it’s _you guys_.” She stresses like that explains everything.

“I have a girlfriend.” And there’s the trump card. Ever since the night that Stiles had drunkenly confessed his feelings for Scott to Kira she has been pushing him to admit it _to_ Scott instead of the pathetic pining he’s been doing for so long. But Kira’s a good person, other than Scott, she’s the nicest person he knows and she would never advocate for him to hurt someone else.

Kira sighs heavy and swipes her card to enter the dorms.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, kid.” He says and leans back against the wall as they wait for the elevator to rumble down to the main floor.

“I want you to be happy. _Both_ of you.”

“I am happy, Kira.” He _is_ , “Alex makes me happy.”

For a moment, while it’s just the two of them in the elevator, they stare each other down until Kira sighs again and gives him a small smile.

“Ok.” She concedes and it’s clear that the _for now_ is a given.

“Speaking of which,” he says when the elevator gets to the third floor and they walk out, “I’m going to go deliver this food to said girlfriend who makes me really, _really_ happy.”

“Ok Stiles.” Kira rolls her eyes at him, “Goodnight.”

“Night.” They hug briefly and tightly. He waits until Kira gets into her room safely before walking in the opposite direction until he gets to Alex’s room and knocks three times, “Al—it’s me!”

She’s clad in white pajama shorts and a Batman hockey shirt. Her light blue hair in a messy bun and a flush to her cheeks visible even with her dark, brown skin. She’s beautiful and when she’s looking at him like that: like he just brought her the moon even though it’s just a wrap from the dining hall how can he not be head over heels?

“You brought food. You’re my savior.” She hugs him tight and pulls him inside and locks the door.

“I figured you could use a break.”

“You figured right.” She smiles and plants a kiss on him that deepens almost immediately.

“Food?” he mumbles against her lips as she pulls him close to her.

“Food later.” She pants out.

“Definitely. Definitely food later.” He laughs and they tumble backwards onto the bed shedding clothing along the way.


	2. Chapter 2

When he hears the snort-laughs from Stiles and Alex Scott tells himself not to look. Screams at himself to keep his eyes focused on the Astronomy equations packet he's been working on. He fails.

They're pressed close together: Alex fits perfectly in the V of Stiles' open legs and her head is pressed back against his chest. Stiles has one hand resting on her stomach and the other absently playing with her hair. They look the picture of perfection as they laugh at Leslie Knope explaining to Ben how perfectly chill she is all the time. It's a hilarious scene.

What's not so hilarious? The familiar mix of jealousy, anger, and shame that rolls through him every single time. It's jealousy because Stiles will never look at him like he hangs the moon or hold him with equal parts protectiveness and gentleness. It's anger because he shouldn't _want_ those things. Stiles loves him, Scott knows that, and even if he's not _in love_ with him his friendship alone should be enough. It's a shame because Scott knows that if Stiles and Alex ended in the next 30 seconds he wouldn't be heartbroken and that's a shitty way to feel.

But he's been feeling this way since he was 14 and Stiles 15. When they were chosen for seven minutes in the closet and a kiss gave Scott an epiphany. But Stiles was never into (has never been; will never be) him. So he's had to get used to this: watching Stiles fall in love or heavy infatuation with person after person after person but never him.

He doesn't mean to broadcast it but a long sigh escapes his lips anyway as he runs his hands through his hair.

"Buddy, you doing ok?"

When he looks up both Alex and Stiles are giving him concerned looks. He recovers quickly, "Yeah just math: my old nemesis." (It’s Astronomy and it’s tedious but not really all that challenging).

"Do you want help?" Stiles asks him.

Scott shakes his head at him, "No I think I need to just stop looking at it for a while. I have a book to return to the library anyway and I've got stuff to do for Union Latina anyway." _And I don't think I can take seeing you this in love anymore, right now._ But he doesn't say that.

The alpha makes a stop at the library first because he really does have a book to return since he's not using it for his paper anymore. But the Union Latina thing is just replying to an e-mail; he can honestly just do that from his phone. He wanders aimlessly around the campus for a little bit and it's no surprise that it's at Kira's dorm room doorstep that he ends up.

The kitsune opens the door for him and all it takes is one look for her to understand what's happening. She pulls him inside immediately.

To her credit Kira doesn't bring it up until a quarter of the way through their shared carton of mint chocolate chip, "One day you're going to have to stop hiding."

"Does that day have to be today?" he quips.

"Scott..."

He gives an exaggerated sigh and goes to the default answers, "He has a girlfriend. He doesn't feel that way about me. It wouldn't work." He counts off his fingers.

"He won't always have a girlfriend. You don't know until you actually say something. He'd make it work if it were you." she lists back at him.

"Then he'll have a boyfriend...or another girlfriend. I _do_ know that. How do you know?"

This has become a kind of habit for them.

"That boyfriend could be you. You most certainly _don't_ know that. And he's your best friend, Scott."

"Exactly!" he says (she's given him the trump card), "He's my best friend Kira. He has been since we were four and do you know what'll happen if I tell him that I've been in love with him since high school? Things get weird and awkward and next thing I know, I've lost the best friend I've ever had. Maybe that makes me a coward but I'd rather try and get over this than ever risk losing Stiles."

"By amassing fuck buddies?"

He levels her with a look, "You're supposed to be my non-judgmental friend."

"I'm not judging, Scott. If casual sex is what actually makes you happy then, as long as you're being responsible, I say 'go for it.' Except I'm pretty sure this is you hiding." Kira tells him.

"I'm not _un_ happy, you know." he grumbles.

"I didn't say you were. I just know that you could be happ _ier_."

She's not wrong, he knows that. If by some small miracle he actually got up the nerve to confess his feelings for Stiles and by another miracle his best friend felt the same Scott would be happier than he's ever been.

But there were so many problems with that scenario:

  1.        Scott would never be that brave
  2.        Stiles, for sure doesn't feel that way about him
  3.        It wouldn't last long anyway



Stiles hasn't had a relationship that's lasted longer than two months since he and Malia in high school (that had lasted a full year). Not with Linda, or Perrie, or Carter, or Josie. Alex is the first that's lasted past the two-month mark. His best friend tends to fall hard and fast and almost obsessively. But his relationships never seem to last longer than a few months.

And Scott, well he's a relationship type of a guy although his recent behavior calls to the contrary. The difference is that he hasn't committed his heart to the people he hooks up with.

Stiles, though, Stiles has his everything. If the other man asked, Scott would give him the moon and the stars and every other thing he demanded. And if by some miracle they did hook up and when it fizzled that--- _that_ would break Scott.

And that's the thing that Scott keeps to himself. The last reason he'll never give Kira for why he'll never pursue this: everyone leaves eventually.

His Dad didn't stay. Even with his second attempt at reconnecting with Scott. He only stuck around for a few more months before he disappeared again and Scott hasn't heard from him in almost a year now.

He and Allison couldn't make it work. While Scott understood why they had to take a break: Allison needed to find out who she was and so did he. But even after that she discovered that that person was one destined to be with someone else. And Scott is happy for her and Lydia (he helped pick out the ring Allison proposed with).

The same thing happened with Kira. They started off slower than he and Allison but with no less the intensity. But with the end of their junior year came the end of their relationship. With the way the kitsune lights up even now when there is even a mention of Malia lets Scott know that they weren't meant to be.

He and Derek barely lasted four months before the older werewolf got back with Braeden. Scott looks forward to the daily pictorial updates of their twin baby girls.

And Scott--well, Scott is tired of being a stepping stone. He's weary of being the in between chapter. He wants someone that will last and he doesn’t think he’ll get that—maybe not ever, at least definitely not right now.

But this thing works for now. He’s friends with the people he hooks up with and it gives him that intimacy he craves.

He sighs again, “This works for now, Kira. Can I just let it work for now?” he asks his friend.

“Ok.” She finally agrees but with the understanding that this isn’t the last of the conversation.

It’s not much later after the conversation that his phone buzzes with a text:

_Scott, it’s Mo. Can you hang out tonight?_

Mo is a bartender he met at a local bar. He lives off campus. He introduced Scott to all these new underground pop punk bands.

“Have to go?” Kira asks him.

“It’s Mo.” He answers.

“The bartender off Main St. right?” she asks and he nods, “You’ll be at his place?”

Ever since that time Scott had hooked up with a witch who was part of some evil coven they all made sure to keep tabs on who he was with.

- _Your place?_ Scott texts him.

- _I can pick you up_. Mo answers back not too long afterwards.

“He’s going to come pick me up.”

“I’ll wait with you.” Kira says immediately.

“No, it’s ok. Thanks though.”

Before he leaves she rises to her tip toes and kisses him on the cheek, “You’re the bravest person I know.”

He gives her a smile and although he knows that’s not true, he doesn’t try and argue with her.

Mo comes to pick him up twenty minutes later and at least for the rest of the night he can forget about freckle faced boys with sharp smiles and even sharper tongues.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long you guys

Alex reaches across the table and takes Stiles’ hands in hers and squeezes. She gives him this earnest look that he’s seen so many times and  fuck here it comes —

“I don’t think we should do this anymore.”

“Alex.”

“You’re not invested in us, Stiles. Not like you used to be. Last week I told you that I loved you and  you said ‘wow.’” She reminds him.

It’s true, last week was their 6-month anniversary. The night had been almost perfect. There was a boardwalk stroll and fancy dinner and kisses and an “I love you” from Alex followed by a “wow” from Stiles.

He’s not exactly surprised. The conversation they’re having right now he could recite back to her with the amount of times it’s been said to him. Except he kind of thought that she would be it. Alex had lasted longer than all of the others and he cared about her—cares, he  cares .

“Alex, I really care about you. I really, really like you.” He insists.

“You  care . You  like . But I  love  you, Stiles.”

“I could get there!”

Her lips thin out in a hard press , “We both know you won’t and I’m not interested in sticking around another five months just to find out. It’s over, Stiles.”

“I am sorry.” He says to her, more like mumbles at his hands. He’s surprised when she gives him a small kiss on the cheek.

“I hope you finally find what you’re looking for.” She says softly before she walks out.

He slumps down into the booth and rests his face in his hands. 

I hope you find what you’re looking for,  she’d said. He finds him sitting in the middle of his bed typing away on his laptop.

Maybe it’s the fact that Scott’s a werewolf and can pick up on his emotions. Or maybe it’s the fact that they’ve known each other all of their lives and Scott just knows him that well. His best friend just sits his computer aside and is immediately in front of him and Stiles doesn’t have to say a single word.

“I’m sorry, dude.” Scott whispers in the crook of his neck and holds him tighter.

“ Yeah.” Stiles sighs heavy and holds on just as tight.

Scott stays glued to Stiles’ side and feels  guiltier  by the minute.

There’s the fact that Scott gets a secret thrill when Stiles doesn’t want to sleep alone and opts to cuddle his best friend instead.

There’s the times that Stiles presses oh-so-close to him on one of their tiny twin-sized beds and watches an endless amount of Netflix and Scott feels this warmth in his chest.

There’s walking to the late night cafeteria on campus at one in the morning and taking the long way back. 

There’s the fact that Scott isn’t too sad that Stiles no longer has a girlfriend and that he actively chooses to cuddle with him instead of someone else.

Th ere’s Scott telling himself that Stiles needs him—he’ s hurting right now and that’s the only reason for this. Not because soon Stiles will move on to the next person  and Scott will take what he can get .

Stiles overdoes it, maybe a little.

Is he sad about Alex? Yes.  Does he miss her? Yes. Is he devastated? Not exactly.

It’s just—

Scott lets him slide in bed with him and holds him so tight and secure. 

Scott stays up all night with him watching kung-fu movies and eating microwaved White House burgers.

He turns down offers from his fuck buddies.

It’s wrong and fucked up but at least for now, for this little bit, he has his best friend all to himself. No one else is allowed.

\--

They’re at a party when Scott knows it’s over. He spies Stiles across the room in full charm mode. He’s talking to a tall girl with dirty brown hair and Scott knows the reprieve is over. Stiles has found someone new to set his sights on—he can just tell. 

He doesn’t even have to listen in to know it. There’s the smug smile that tugs at his best friend’s lips. The way the hand not holding the red beer cup moves to match his speech. There’s him brushing the girl’s hair back. It’s going to start all over again.

The alpha adds another few drops of the wolfsbane into his beer and downs it. 

“Scott. Hey.”

The alpha looks to his right at the person addressing him: Donnie. They’re in the same  Spanish Lit class. They’ve partnered up before for a presentation.

“Hey man, what’ s up?” Scott smiles at him.

Donnie shrugs, “Listen I know this is a party and homework is the last thing you want to think about--”

“It’s cool. You want the notes from Spanish Lit that you missed?” Scott guesses with a smile.

“You would be so saving my life dude.” Donnie exhales, “my girl had a flat and I couldn’t leave her hanging, you know?”

“Sure no problem. Uh…I typed them up on my computer. I could send them to you?” Scott suggests.

“Awesome. Awesome…do you still have my e-mail?”

“Uh—no?” Scott says and immediately pulls out his phone and brings up his Notes app.

“Ok here it is.” Donnie takes the phone and starts typing away, “seriously you are saving my ass.”

Scott laughs and rubs at the back of his neck, “It’s really not a problem.”

Scott barely has his phone tucked back in his pocket when Stiles strides up to them and he can tell by the look of him that things aren’t going to go too well. His best friend’s eyes are glazed over and starting to go red. He’s not at all prepared when Stiles pulls out a condom and thumps it, hard, against his chest.

“Guess the dry spell is over, huh Scotty?” he asks with that edge to his voice that Scott dreads.

“Stiles--”

He gets ignored, “Be careful with him. He’s pretty delicate.”

“Um…” Donnie starts.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, dude, I’m sorry. I’ll e-mail you ok?” he apologizes quickly to his classmate and then turns to Stiles, “you and me right fucking  now .”

Stiles stumbles over his feet as Scott literally drags him by the hand through the horde of party-goers, up the  stairs and inside an empty room where he slams the door and turns to him and  whoa .

Stiles has seen Scott’s pissed-off face a handful of times. But it’s only ever been directed at him once—possibly twice. This makes possibly thrice. He’s…not a fan.

“Scotty--” he starts,

“Don’t.” Scott cuts him off with a growl and a finger pointed at his face, “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I’m sorry. That was completely uncalled for , “I was just being helpful, Scotty,” comes flying out of his mouth instead.  Fucking jell-o shots.

“Are you serious right now?”

Stiles rolls his eyes. Ok, that was a bit of a dick move but it’s not like Scott is going to have any trouble rounding up another willing booty call. He has a whole rolodex.  Stiles tells him this. It doesn’t help. It just makes things worse.

Scott clenches his jaw and walks briskly up to Stiles. Even though he’s shorter he takes up so much space. He talks like he’s trying to control himself and even the pokes he uses to accentuate his point hurt.

“First of all,”  Poke , “I wasn’t going to fuck him. Second of all,”  Poke , “that was still rude as fuck even if I was.”

“Uh…oops?”

“’Oops.’ That’s all you have to say?” Scott asks incredulous.

“What do you want from  me Scott? It’s not like it’s such a stretch!” Stiles yells out. That was the wrong thing to say. Again.

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” Scott asks quietly. It’s always bad when Scott gets quiet.

“I—I didn’t mean it like that.” Stiles slurs.

“Sure you didn’t. You know what? Whatever.” Scott sighs and turns to walk away.

Shit. He fucked up . Stiles reaches out  and  grabs Scott by the upper forearm to try and stop him from walking out.

“Scott,  wait —please.” Stiles turns him around and presses him against the door. 

Scott shrugs him off but he doesn’t immediately try to leave again, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asks for the second time. 

It may be because he’s a little inebriated himself. He’s not drunk by any sense but the wolfsbane in his beer slowed down his senses. Maybe that’s why it takes Stiles this close to him to smell it .

“You’re jealous?” he finally asks when the bitter lemon scent reaches his nose, “Stiles—I told you we weren’t going to do anything.”

“But you’ll find someone who will—you always do.  And I’ll be here on the sidelines.”

“On the sidelines? Stiles what are you--”

“I’m in love with you, Scott.”

There it is, blurted out in the worst way possible when Stiles is half past drunk in a dark room at a fucking frat party.

“You’re—what?” Scott asks in confusion. He’s dreaming. He has to be dreaming.

“I love you. I’m in love with you, Scott. I just—it’s so stupid!” Stiles sighs in frustration and backs away from him to drag his hands through his hair.

“Stiles.” Scott presses against the door because his knees have gone weak. This can’t really be happening, can it?

“I know! I know, ok?” he blurts out before Scott can continue speaking. Before he can start gently letting him down, “You—you don’t feel the same way. I know, Scotty, ok? I know.”

Scott could stop him right then—he  should , in fact, stop him right there and let him know how wrong he is. He could cross the little distance between them, take his best friend’s face in his hands and crush their mouths together.

“I’m sorry, Stiles. I—I can’t. I’m sorry.” Scott blurts out and flees. He has to or else the glimpse of devastation he witnesses on Stiles’ face is going to undo him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed this!

Stiles’ return to consciousness is the second worst thing in the world. The feeling like an electric drill is slowly working its way into your skull via your temples. Then there’s the nausea. The not being able to open your eyes all the way without it feeling like the sun is trying to burn them out. The dry throat on top of that is even worse.

None of that compares to knowing that he’s lost Scott forever. There’s a chance that he’s being dramatic. They’ve been through werewolves and alphas and druids and evil fox spirits together. But then again he hasn’t seen Scott since Friday night. The only contact they’ve had is a text from him ( “I’m with Liam. Please don’t worry. I just need a little bit of time. I’m ok I promise.-Scott ) and then radio silence. 

He gets up ever so slowly and after a long shower and some aspirin he gets back in bed. The knock at his door startles him and makes his heart jump.  Maybe Scott’s gotten over this faster than Stiles thought. He struggles out of bed and hurries towards the door.

He tries not to show his disappointment when it’s not a crooked-jawed alpha on the other side.

“Hey Kira.” 

“Uh—nice to see you too?” she responds  with uncertain t y .

“Sorry.” He apologizes, “I just…thought you were Scott.”

“Did something happen? Do you not know where he is? Is it another evil witch coven thing?” she asks in quick succession.

Stiles stops her before she has a heart attack, “He’s fine. He’s with Liam. Well—he’s with Liam…I’m not so sure he’s exactly fine.”

Kira furrows her eyebrows. She hasn’t been here since Thursday. She had to fly to New York for a family wedding so she has no idea that Stiles just torpedoed his life.

“I told Scott I loved him.” He says and follows it with a long suffering sigh.

“So then why do you look so miserable?” she asks him confused.

“Why do you think Kira?” he doesn’t mean to snap at her the way he does but the question comes out with venom anyway, “he doesn’t feel the same way!”

He expects her to be contrite. He expects her to sadden and apologize for the question and for pushing him so hard before to just admit his feelings all those times. Except she does none of those things. Instead she furrows her eyebrows again and bites at her bottom lip while shifting from one foot to the other. It’s the demeanor she adopts when she clearly has something to say and is trying to keep it to herself.

“Kira…what?”

“He really said that? That he doesn’t feel the same way?” she says instead.

“More specifically that he ‘can’t’ right before he ran away.” He clarifies and there she goes again, “what?!”  Frustration and curiosity get the better of him.

“He’s in love with you too!” she blurts out and immediately covers her mouth again.

It takes a minute for it to register, “…what?”

She exhales, “He loves you too.”

“No he doesn’t.”

“Yes…he does.”

“No he doesn’t.”

They go back and forth like this for a few more moments before Kira breaks and says, “Stiles would I lie to you about this?”

It doesn’t take long for him to come up with the answer, “But he  said \--”

“He’s scared.” Kira interrupts.

“He doesn’t have to be. ” Stiles says confused. 

“You should probably let him know that.” Kira tells him.

\--

“You’re not even trying anymore.”  Liam says as Katana completely obliterates S ub-Zero .

“Sorry.” Scott apologizes, “I guess my head’s not really in it.”

Liam puts the controller down and faces him, “I get that. When Mason told me that he loved me I freaked out too. Turns out I didn’t have to be so scared.”

Scott appreciates what Liam is trying to do. He appreciates the fact that his beta, after listening to his drunken ramble, actually let him crash in his room. 

“This is….not really the same thing.” Scott says carefully.

“Yeah Mason’s way nicer.” Liam says and actually gets Scott to chuckle along, “you should talk to him.”

“I should, shouldn’t I?” Scott says and rests the back of his head against the bed.

Scott takes the longest way back from Liam’s dorm to his own. On the way he practices a speech that he thinks will somehow repair the damage that’s been done.  He repeats it to himself out loud and hopes that one night hasn’t ruined a decade + friendship.

“Hey.” Scott says when he opens the door and sees Stiles in his bed.

“You’re back.” 

“I’m back.” Scott says.

They’ve never been this awkward with each other. Scott leans his back against the door and then pushes off to stride towards his side of the room and sit down. He flexes his hands, clasps and unclasps them and worries at his bottom lip.

“Maybe you should’ve written down your speech so you wouldn’t forget the words.” Stiles’ words surprise him.

“What?”

Stiles quirks his eyebrow at him. It’s like seventh grade all over again when Scott had come over with a 6 notecard speech explaining to Stiles that his Dad had gotten custody of him  (those had been the worst year and 4 months of his life).

“Have you forgotten who you’re dealing with here Scotty?” he asks his best friend.

“No!” Scott says quickly, “Stiles you’re my best friend and--”

“Oh God you’re really going to give me a bullshit speech right now?” Stiles interrupts and gets up.

“It’s not bullshit!” Scott defends.

Stiles crosses his arms and stares him down, “You’re going to tell me that you love me and value our friendship and don’t love me like I love you right?”

“None of that is bullshit Stiles. It’s all true.” He looks up at him. Why is he making this so hard?

“Except for the part where you  are  in love with me.”

“Stiles, I told you that I’m--”

“Don’t lie to me Scott.” Stiles says seriously.

“Stiles just listen--”

“Not if you’re going to feed me more bullshit.” Stiles interrupts again louder and noticeably angrier.

“What do you want from me man?” Scott  snaps  and gets up too.

“The fucking truth!”

“The truth? The truth? Fine I love you!” he yells and spreads his arms out, “Are you happy now?”

They’re standing face to face now and Scott turns to put some space between them before he does something stupid but  Stiles stops him with a hand around his forearm and turns him back around so that once again they’re face to face.

“No I’m not happy because the next thing you’re gonna say is that we can’t have this.” He says quietly and cups Scott’s  chin  to keep him from looking away.

“Because we can’t.” Scott’s voice breaks and he tries to blink away the tears that have welled up but they start falling anyway.

“Hey  hey  hey.” Stiles soothes and wipes away the tears with his thumb but he keeps Scott looking at him, “why are you so scared, Scott?”

Scott clenches his jaw and tries to swallow past the lump in his throat. He pulls out of Stiles’ hold and once again puts some distance between them. Stiles tries to go to him again but stops when his best friend puts a hand up.

“Scott.”

“I just— I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it when you move on.”

“When I mo—Scott that’s not possible.” Stiles says confused. He’s been in love with this boy for so long. There is no moving on.

“Seems to be for everyone else.” Scott says and even to his own ears he sounds a pathetic, pitiful mess. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. 

When it finally clicks in Stiles’ mind the first thing he wants to do is wrap his best friend in his arms and never let go. 

“Scott…” The only thing that stops him is Scott backing away from him.

“Don’t—I don’t want your pity ok?” Scott says to him. He keeps backing up until the back of his legs reach his bed and then he kind of just collapses onto it.

Stiles doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like how small his best friend looks sitting on the bed with his head down and hands clasped together. He doesn’t like that Scott feels so… replaceable  when he’s anything but. He doesn’t like being this far away from him so he strides forward and drops to his knees in front of him. He lifts Scott’s face with a finger.

“Scott I don’t pity you, ok? I don’t. ” he assures him. It’s his turn for a speech, “I can’t sit here and promise you that we’ll be a couple for the next fifty years ok I can’t. I wish I could hop in my DeLorean right now and find out but I can’t.”

“A Back to the Future joke really?” Scott can’t help the small smile.

“It got me a smile, didn’t it?”

“Stiles.”

“Ok sorry. Look  I know you’re scared and I know I don’t exactly have the best record when it comes to relationships but you’re it for me. You’ve been it for me for so long  and I can’t promise forever, I wish I could, but I can’t.  I know you’re scared but you have to let go of that sometime.”

“I want to Stiles, so much. But what if--”

“Stop living in what ifs.” Stiles interrupts. He scoops Scott’s hands in his and kisses the knuckles, “take a leap of faith with me Scotty.”

Scott stops thinking and dives in head and heart first tow ards his best friend and tackles him to the ground. The small “ oof ” of surprise Stiles makes gives the alpha the opportunity to slide his tongue in his mouth and make the kiss deep and desperate at the start.

They kiss for long minutes with small breaks only to breathe before diving back in. Scott finally pulls away from Stiles who holds him by the back of the neck.

“Scotty.” Stiles exhales and continues staring up at him.

“I’m right here.” Scott whispers back.

“Finally.” Stiles answers him and moves his hand from Scott's nape to brush at his cheek.

“Leap of faith right?” Scott gives him a small half-smile.

“Leap of faith.” Stiles says and surges up to capture his lips again and they go for another kiss that seems to never end until he pulls away again, “God Scotty I want—I  want .”

“Anything.” Scott tells him immediately, “You can have anything.”

“ I want to make love to you, Scotty. Can I—can I?” Stiles asks through small kisses he peppers all over his best friend’s face.

“Please.” Scott whispers back.

Stiles has always loved watching Scott and this time i s no exception. He’s fascinated with the growing red of his chest. He’s enamored with the way Scott tries to keep his eyes open and focused on him but fails as he loses himself in the pleasure of Stiles’ fingers working him open. The wet, plump red of his bottom lip has the ability to capture his attention for hours. He’s never going to tire of this.

Scott’s not a babbler. When he’s at a loss for things to say he tends to stay silent or sometimes his sentences are littered with more “uhhhh”s than usual. But he’s babbling now—no he’s  begging . Stiles is three fingers deep working him open and Scott wants more. He  needs  more.

“ Pleasepleasepleaseplease .  Stiles, I need you— please .” 

Stiles puts  make Scotty beg  on his list for things to explore later.  But for today, right now, he doesn’t have it in him to make Scott  wait . He eases his fingers out of his best friend and kisses away the whine that starts to pour out of him before he lines up and slides in.

Scott arches his back off of the bed at the feel of Stiles finally inside him. His best friend has their hands tightly intertwined and his face buried in Scott’s neck as he drives in and out of him. Similar to their make out earlier it somehow manages to be desperate but somehow unhurried. Stiles’ thrusts are slow and deep and driving Scott out of his mind. The alpha wraps his legs  just under Stiles’ ass and rolls his hips into every drive forward.

“Scotty.  ScottyScottyScotty .” Stiles repeats in his best friend’s ear, “I’m so close, Scotty.”

“Me too. Me too.” 

Scott leads their joined right hands to his leaking dick and Stiles immediately gets with the program. They wrap their hands around the alpha’s dick and start jacking him off in time with Stiles’ now rapid thrusts.

Scott comes first with a loud growl that gets cut off when Stiles crashes their mouths together right before following his best friend over the edge. They’re both silent for long minutes afterwards with Scott drawing small circles over Stiles’ left shoulder blade and the other man mouthing at his neck.

“Hey Stiles?” Scott says softly.

“Yeah Scotty?” Stiles lifts his head to look down at him.

“I’m really glad I leapt.”

Stiles chuckle comes out more breathy than anything, “So am I.”   


 


End file.
